


Captive Heat

by GoddessofRoyalty



Series: Prompt Fics [1]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alpha Poe, Alpha Poe Dameron, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Bottom Kylo Ren, Dubious Consent, Fuck Or Die, Kink Meme, M/M, Omega Kylo Ren, Omega Verse, Star Wars Kink Meme
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-02
Updated: 2016-08-21
Packaged: 2018-07-11 19:11:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7066561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GoddessofRoyalty/pseuds/GoddessofRoyalty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kylo is an omega but had taken suppressants his whole life and never shared an heat with anyone. He's a virgin and never was quite interested in sex. He hide his omega status well from the First Order.</p><p>When he's captured by the resistance after the fight with Rey - he's going into heat.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Full Prompt:  
> Kylo is an omega but had taken suppressants his whole life and never shared an heat with anyone. He's a virgin and never was quite interested in sex. He hide his omega status well from the First Order.  
> When he's captured by the resistance after the fight with Rey - he's going into heat. He's scared and skittish and does not want to have sex and does not know what is really going on (since he never experienced a heat before). Because of certain reasons (I don't know which - it is your choice) Finn is the only alpha currently at the resistance base and he has to help Kylo. Finn has never had sex before either and as his alpha instinct kicks in he get's possessive and eager and cannot resist the omega. Kylo is scared and fights him but has no chance against him (deep in heat and pain Kylo is, he cannot feel or use the force because of the heat). Later alpha!Poe comes back from a mission and calms Kylo down while showing Finn how to handle an omega in heat - being all tender and possessive, being like a real lover to Kylo. Poe is kind and considerate. Both Poe and Finn then sleep with Kylo. Kylo remains skittish and afraid during his whole heat (which last a few days) although he cannot resist the pleasure (and is disgusted with himself for it)  
> Bonus points for Kylo getting sick (as in vomiting) after the heat is over and feeling used and Finn and Poe helping him to the cleaning unit and helping him wash and patching him up whatever accidentally injuries he got because of Finn's harsh treatment. Bonus points also for addressing the consent issues.
> 
> Title Sucks.
> 
> Crossposting my fill to the kink meme prompt in the summary. Link to where it's posted on the kink meme here: https://starwarskinkmeme.dreamwidth.org/586.html?thread=681802#cmt681802 it's a bit further along over there but I'll catch up here eventually.
> 
> Also Han lives because fuck you I can do what I want (read: I needed an extra set of hands to get him on the ship).

The cell they put him in feels warm.

Everything feels warm actually, and if Kylo Ren’s completely honest with himself he knows it started earlier. Knows he started feeling warm and weird back at Starkiller. Knows he was sweating despite the cold and the snow. That doesn’t make sense though. There is no reason for him to feel warm like this (except one but that has been taken care of). So it must be the room that is warm.

He paces at first. Angrily walking up and down the room’s length. He misses his lightsaber. With that he could make quick work of the door keeping him in. Destroy it and anyone standing in his way of returning to the Supreme Leader in order to finish his training. His lightsaber was taken off him by the scavenger girl. Taken off him by the girl before her and his father managed to drag him onto the ship. The Wookie getting the traitor and then flying them all back to the Resistance base where he was placed in the warm cell.

He sits with his back against a wall. His breath coming in short pants. He feels as if he has been fighting. Feels like his body needs to drag more oxygen into it then it can. He is used to that, used to training so hard, pushing himself so far that his body cannot supply his muscles with the oxygen they need. He hasn’t been training though, his angry pacing nothing compared to what he normally puts his body through. The fight with the scavenger girl too far in the past to be the source either.

He drags his legs up so his knees sit under his chin. His breath still gasping and the warmth joined by a blur in his mind, one that seems to block his connection to the Force, to turn it into a blurred awareness. He can still feel it there but cannot hope to reach it, control it. He would believe the resistance had drugged him if not for the fact he knows his parents would never allow it. Still, there is a heat that rests under his skin, a blur that circles his head and _something_ in his body shifting.

He feels slick start to lead out of his ass and into his pants and things both suddenly make sense and stop making any sense at all.

He’s in heat.

The heat and the blur and the exhaustion all make sense. The going into heat though. That doesn’t make sense. He had been on suppressants, had been on them before his first heat even hit. A preventive measure to break the cycle before it even started. He shouldn’t be in heat. Has never been in heat before in his life.

This is defiantly heat though. There is nothing else it could possibly be and his body seems to be punishing him for avoiding it. Feels like fifteen years’ worth of heats are burning through him. Or maybe this is what all heats feel like? If so he is glad to have been avoiding them.

He wants to tear his clothes off. Wants to get as much skin as possible revealed to the air in the hope that it will cool his overheating body. He wants to pull his pants down and bury his fingers deep in his slicked up ass. To try and give his body some satisfaction and release from the craving-pain that is thrumming through him.

He won’t though. He is stronger than his bodies urges. Stronger than his designation. He will not act like some pathetic slut of an omega, so desperate for any knot that will fill them up. He is better than that. He will not give in. Especially not while he is the captive of his enemies.

The captive of his family.

He wonders if they are watching? Wonders if they are to blame for the suppressants no longer working? They wouldn’t allow him to be adversely drugged but maybe they would consent to his body being chemical reverted back to its natural state. Is this his punishment for betraying them? Or is this part of some grander game to make him return? To bind him to someone in the resistance so he has no hope to leave.

That only makes sense if his heat was triggered after he was in their custody. And even in his deepest denial he knows it started before he saw his father again. Knows they cannot possibly be the source.

Still, he wonders if they are enjoying his suffering.

He works on evening his breathing out. Works on stretching his legs out so he doesn’t look like he is cowering against a wall. He bites back the moan that threatens to leave his mouth at the movement. Ignores the new flood of slick he feels pour out of him at it. His pants are already long ruined. His hair sticks to his forehead from his sweat and he cannot believe how quickly the heat has managed to gain power. How quickly it has burned through him, turning his body against him.

It is agony and he hopes it will pass quickly. Hopes a lifetime of suppressants makes his body unsure of how it is supposed to go about this. Makes it burn bright but fast. He doesn’t know if he will last if it carries on for more than a day or two. Doesn’t want to think about what he will do if the desperate _want_ that flows through his body gets any stronger. If this is only the prelude to his real suffering.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the people waiting on Fork in the Road. I plan on getting another chapter of it up by the end of the month. It will be the next thing I write SO HELP ME GODS (unless sudden inspiration for a oneshot comes up that only takes me a night to write - then that'll be up first because much shorter write-to-post turnaround). All other things posted until then are things I've already written and been meaning to post but haven't gotten around to it yet (like this).

The door opens and he expects it to be his mother.

Expects to be his mother coming to give him the patronising comfort his childhood was filled with. To tell him not to fight it and just let his body do what it wanted. To tell him that it wasn’t embarrassing or shameful or any of the other lies told to omegas in order to make them complacent in their places in society.

Of course it would also not surprise him if it is his uncle that walks into the room. Luke, the other omega in the family, there to do the same thing his mother would do except with the extra pain of him “understanding” what Kylo is going through. Luke “ _knows how it feels_ ”.

It isn’t either of them. Isn’t even his father (which would have surprised him but still probably made sense). No, it’s the traitor that enters the room. FN-2187.

“Hey, are you okay?” the traitor asks and No. He shouldn’t be here. He cannot be here.

Kylo had read his file when he kidnapped Dameron and betrayed the First Order. The traitor was an alpha. Which wouldn’t be a problem. If they were still back in the First Order. The Stormtroopers all chemically altered to keep their designations under wraps, made to be Beta’s as far as biology was concerned (some exceptions excluded). They weren’t in the First Order anymore, and the treatment used on the Stormtroopers was different to the one Kylo Ren used. Theirs was placed in their food. The treatment, and their true designations, kept from their knowledge. Only the higher ups could know. Even a few days without the chemicals and their designations would seep back through.

The time between FN-2187’s defection and now? It was long enough for the chemicals to have started wearing off. The traitor is an alpha and Kylo Ren is an omega quickly burning further and further into heat.

The slick soaking through his pants seems to double in production.

“Leave me alone.”

“Are you sure? You look like you’re in pain?” the traitor asks, taking a step closer and Kylo can _smell_ him now. Can smell the alpha pheromones that are starting to bubble to the surface in response to Kylo’s heat.

“I’m fine.”

“You don’t seem it.” Another step closer and Ren has to resist the urge to shift away (to shift closer).

“I am. Just leave.”

“No, I’m not going to leave until you tell me what’s wrong.” He’s moving even closer still, walking over and Kylo bites back a whimper at it. He does smell good. The traitor, a man who he wants (and has tried to make) dead, smells so good and his body wants him so bad and Kylo hates it, hates it all and wants to die rather than keep feeling the aching burn through his body. Ren closes his eyes and tries to fight it off, tries to quell the want that his body has. He doesn’t care if it only proves that something is affecting him, he has to get control over his body again.

“You smell good?” The traitor sounds confused at it, sounds so close. Ren opens his eyes to realise the traitor is kneeling down in front of him, is so close to him that he can feel his breath against his hyposensitive skin. “Like really good.”

Ren wants to lean up and connect their mouths. Wants to pull his clothes off and present himself to the alpha (like some pathetic whore).

Instead he shoves him away. He is still taller than the traitor, still physically stronger despite the burn in his body draining most of his power. He is up on his feet as quick as he can make his muscles move. Ignores the slick that soaks into his pants at the movement and moves away.

He refuses to look at where he was sitting, refuses to look at the glisten on the floor that is evidence that he has managed to leak through his thick pants. That his body is so wet, so needy for it. Instead he focuses his attention onto the traitor, who hasn’t moved from where he landed from Kylo’s shove. Who looks so confused despite his eyes darkening from his body’s reaction to the hormones now flooding it.

“What’s happening?”

“Nothing. You need to leave.”

“No. Tell me.” The traitor pushes himself off the floor and closes the distance between them. He is shorter then Kylo but with the hormones that are now flooding his body and the ones that have been burning through Ren’s for the past while there has been a shift in the powers. Kylo wants to buckle at his knees, if only to correct it. His body wanting to drop so the alpha knows he will submit.

Instead he draws sharp breaths through his nose, fighting his body’s instincts with every part of his will he has left.

“You smell so good,” the traitor still seems so confused at those words as his eyes explore Kylo’s face, focus in on his lips. Ren knows what is going to happen next, and try as he might to fight it, his body thrums in excitement for it.

The traitor moves forward and connects their lips and despite everything he is putting into stopping it a moan (a filthy, sluttish, moan) breaks his lips. The traitor moves forward and Ren moves back until his back hits the wall, and there are hands on his hips now. Hands with a bruising grip and it feel so _right_ and he knows he never wanted this.

The traitor breaks the kiss and moves to kiss along Ren’s neck. It’s instinctual, Ren knows, just as he knows it’s instinctual that it feels so good to have those lips pressing against his neck. Knows it’s instinctual that he wraps his arms around the traitor’s back and pulls him closer, to make their bodies rub together.

When teeth gently graze against his neck his mind comes back to him, if only for a moment, and he manages to shove the traitor off him. To get some distance between them as he tries to catch his breath and his mind and fight back the burning that now feels like it will never leave him unless he gives it what it wants. Will leave him in agony unless he gives im and fulfils the demands of his designation.

The traitor looks like he is trying to pull himself together as well. Looks like he is suffering just as much as Ren is from this. Which is ridiculous. His body is still mostly the same. He hasn’t had a part of his anatomy temporarily rearranged. Isn’t the one who feels like he will burn up if he isn’t _bred_. Feels like the only way to make the suffering stop is have a knot buried deep in him, pumping him full of seed that will hopefully take. He gets it easy. Ren is the one that is really suffering.

Ren tries to reach out to the Force. Tries to reconnect to it to break the hold of the heat, or force his way into the traitors mind to get him to leave. He finds his senses of it hopelessly dulled. He can still feel it there, on the edge of his mind where it has always rested but he cannot connect to it, cannot break through the haze to grab hold of it in a way that actually would have some use.

“You need to leave,” Kylo says again, as if this time it will work. As if they aren’t both completely screwed now that their pheromones have joined and dragged them into the subspaces of their designations. Haven’t sentenced them to the brutal dance that is heat and rut combined.

He wishes it had been his mother or his uncle that came to comfort him. Their patronising comfort so much preferable to an alpha that reeks of virility and strength.

“Yeah, I probably should,” the traitor manages to pant out and Ren finds hope swell up inside him at that. That maybe he might escape the fate yet.   

He doesn’t leave though, and after a few more seconds they’ve somehow reconnected. Not that Kylo is sure who moved to whom (maybe they both did?). Reconnected and tumbling to the ground and the traitor’s hands are now moving to tug at his Ren’s robes as his mouth kisses and bites at his lips. Kylo’s body sings its praises for the actions while his mind screams in panic.

Ren’s hands are pushing the traitor’s shirt up and the traitor pulls away to tug it off before returning to trying to disrobe Kylo. Trying to get to his prize.

And Kylo Ren lets him. Kylo Ren moans when the traitor manages to get the top part of his robes off (some piece of it torn off in frustration) and lips suckle on and bite at a now exposed (and apparently sensitive) nipple. Kylo Ren pants at the bruising gropes, the need for the traitor to mark him clear to them both. Kylo Ren shifts his hips up so the traitor can pull his pants down. Kylo Ren is going to let the traitor penetrate him, is going to let him fuck him and knot him and breed him. Kylo Ren’s body wants the traitor’s child to grow in him.

He pushes him off, pushes the traitor off and gets away from him. He can’t. He won’t. He will not become some common omega whore that will just let any alpha fuck them in heat. He cannot let that happen. He has to escape somehow. Has to get away from the traitor-alpha and regain his mind.

He only realises he is backing away when he hits the wall. Realises he is backing away and realises he has nowhere to back away _to_ in the same moment. He is as much trapped in this room as he is his designation and heat-addled body. There is no escape. Nothing he can do to fight it. His body already in agony from the heat that he knows is probably days off ending. Knows the only other option for relief is in the form of an alpha and a knot and a flood of seed that may result in a child.

It won’t stop him from trying to find an out though. And when the door opens again he contemplates running for it before remembering that he is an omega in heat in the middle of a Resistance base that likely is crawling with alphas (not to mention the shame of the Resistance seeing him like this: naked and desperate and scared).


	3. Chapter 3

Poe Dameron walks into the room and Kylo Ren realises two things. The first is the scene it must all look like – him pressing himself back against a wall, completely naked and obviously deep in heat, and the traitor, an alpha, shirtless, standing in the centre of the room looking both confused an deeply aroused. The second is that Poe Dameron is an alpha as well and Ren’s body can smell that he is just as virile as the traitor.

There is a part of his mind that knows what the traditional outcome of this scene is. The two alphas are to fight – perhaps to the death – and whichever wins gets the right to mate the omega, their physical power proving their right to plant their child in him. Ren feels his body clench and relax at the thought, in excitement for a fight to prove who will sire the strongest children in him despite the fact the rational part of his brain doesn’t even think for one second that this will turn out in the traditional outcome. Kylo hopes Dameron just takes the traitor and _leaves_.

“Finn,” Dameron says, moving over so he can grab the traitor by both his shoulders in a comforting grip. “You okay buddy?”

“Yeah. I think.” The traitor says, and it’s clear he’s trying to focus on Dameron despite the clearly attention-grabbing presence of a heated-omega in the room. “Why does he smell so good?” 

“Because he’s in heat,” Dameron says as if it is something simple. As if it isn’t an embarrassing situation of desperation and haze that makes Kylo Ren want to act like some shameless whore. “You know what that is right?” Ren would feel insulted at what was being implied about the First Order education of their Stormtroopers, but really, he couldn’t care what Dameron or the rest of the resistance think about them. He is going to destroy them all once he manages to get control of his body again and find a way off the base.

“Yeah I know,” the traitor replies, “but why does he smell so good to _me?_ ”

“Because you’re an alpha,” Dameron replies and the realisation apparently quickly settles into the traitor.

“Really?”

“Yeah, and you’re currently in rut. But you gotta’ stay with me okay? I know he smells really good,” Dameron looks at Ren with that, actually _looks_ at him from the first time since he has walked into the room and Kylo can see that his eyes have darkened a bit, that he is being pulled under in the same way as the traitor. Ren tries to step further back into the wall while he body seems to go into overdrive of desperate craving, burning him up and trying to make him do _something_ to get the alphas to either fight each other and fuck him (or just skip the fighting and move straight onto fucking him, that is also apparently an okay solution). “But you gotta’ stay focused. Can you do that?”

“Yeah. Yeah I can do that.”

“Great,” Dameron says, and easily pulls the traitor into a tight hug. Then he turns his attention onto Ren.

“Ben,” he says and takes a careful step forward. It is easy to snarl at that. Easy to rage against the name despite his body screaming that it doesn’t care what the alpha calls him as long as he does it while inside him. Easy to find the distinction in his mind between the heat-demands and himself at just the reaction to the word.

“Leave,” the word is said through clenched teeth and Ren hopes they both read it as anger.

“Ben, please.” Another careful step forward and there are those pheromones again. The ones that are only increasing his body’s own hormonal response. The ones that make him want to drop to his knees, to present himself and _beg_ to be filled.

“Take the traitor and leave this room before I kill you both just for insulting me with your presence.” He pulls himself up to his full height to try and make the empty words sound more real. Despite his pretences otherwise Ren knows he has no real power in this situation. If they really wanted to they could force him to take their knots and their seed and their child. Could do that and his body would make him enjoy it; make him beg for more irrespective of what he actually wants. Instead Dameron approaches him like he is some skittish animal. Ren realises that in this moment he probably is exactly that.

“It won’t break,” Dameron says and Kylo’s mind seems horribly clear for a moment if only because of the weight of the words. “I’m assuming you’ve been on suppressants your whole life. Your body won’t know how to break it without outside stimulus.” Without a knot, basically. Ren was right in the fact a lifetime of suppressants would make his body not know how heats were supposed to go. It just went the opposite way to the one he hoped.

“And you are willing to help me out of the goodness of your heart,” Ren sneers, but realises Dameron has somehow managed to get close enough to reach him if he wanted to. Realises now he is close enough that there is a difference in the scents of the two alphas. They both smell fertile, suffocating so. But he can also smell the difference in their ages somehow, the heat-addled part of his brain pointing out that both have his positives. That either alpha would breed in him good children.

“Well, Finn is right. You do smell good,” Dameron says with a small, reassuring grin and oh the biologically driven parts of his brain just _melt_ at that. He will be a kind alpha. He will treat his omega and his children with such care and love.

Dameron reaches out towards him and Ren can feel the need boiling under him just as it did the moments before he and the traitor ended up tangled in the floor, tugging at each other’s clothing in a desperate need to get tied together.

He hates it. Hates everything about it. But if Dameron is right (and Kylo has been in his head, he knows he isn’t the kind to lie about something like this) then he really only has one option to get his control back. And if he is honest they are probably a better option than anyone waiting for him in the First Order. He knows they won’t be cruel, that they won’t hold it against him. He knows the same couldn’t be said if it was Hux in their position. It doesn’t mean he has to like it though. Doesn’t mean he has to want to be in this situation.

By the time Dameron’s hand has reached him, he gives in to the craving, desperate _need_ that has put him into the position in the first place. He lets out a whine at the gentle brush of knuckles against his cheek despite his want to swallow it down, to deny it all. That he would rather let himself die from an unbreaking heat then degrade himself in front of them like this.

He won’t though. Won’t deny his want to survive and when the knuckles turn into a thumb, that turns into lips pressing kisses against his cheek he cannot deny that this isn’t horribly unpleasant.

“There you go,” Dameron says and his hands come to rub reassuringly up Ren’s sides. His lips moving from cheek down to neck, down to collar. “Just relax, I’ve got you.”

Ren wants to rage at that but there is something in the pheromones that stops him. Something Dameron is doing that makes his anger buckle into calmness, turn the burning need into a pleasurable want. Apparently, he isn’t the first nervous omega Dameron has had to settle.

He refuses to allow the purely hormonal jealous gain any strength at that realisation.

Dameron keeps muttering the nonsense against Ren’s skin as his hands and lips map it out and Kylo would hate him for it all if he wasn’t relaxing with every second. Dameron knows what the effect of his actions is if the smile that is growing with every minute is any indication.

The lips have found their way back up to his face, avoiding his lips but pressing kisses liberally to everywhere else. The hands have wrapped around him and are massaging his ass-cheeks and Ren can’t help but squirm at it, although he isn’t sure if its fear or anticipation causing the reaction. When it comes to being mated the two have blended into a confusing mess that is near impossible to detangle with his mind so blurred from the heat.

A finger comes to rub up and down the cleft of his ass as the fear wins out if only for a moment, but Dameron is quick to much shushing noises, quick to press kisses to his neck and face and shoulders to try and calm him. “I’ll go slow,” he promises, “I’ll treat you right.” The anticipation reclaims a victory at that and Ren can feel himself relax even as the finger pushes up and _in_ him.

He barely feels it. Realises just how stretched out his body must be from the heat alone because the finger slides in and out so easily with him only just registering that it is there at all. It is only when it’s crooked _just so_ and pleasure dances up his spin, and a new wave a slick flows out of him that he even notices the movements.

“Force you are so wet,” Dameron says and Kylo is quick to bring a hand up to his chest and make an attempt to push him away for it. He doesn’t need reminding about how his body has betrayed him, about how it is so opening displaying to everyone that it is fertile and wants to be filled with knot and seed.

Dameron’s free hand is quick to start stroking him reassuringly, and the pheromones are back, trying to calm his temper. “It’s a good thing, trust me, it’s a good thing.” Ren feels like there’s a story there but he doesn’t have enough access to the Force to search Dameron’s mind for it even if the man was screaming it with every part of his mental being.

Before he has a chance to make a reply a second finger is pushed in to join the first, and it is barely noticeable as well except for the fact Dameron is quick to crook the two of them, quick to keep the pleasure pumping through Ren’s body with nearly as much strength as the desperate need.

He expects a third finger to be pushed in, and when the fingers are instead removed the part of him that has not been heat-tempered panics at the thought that the next thing to push inside will be a penis.

Instead Dameron’s hands come to wrap around his hips (and he can feel his own slick on Dameron’s fingers against the skin of his hips). Pulls him from the wall and guides him over to where the traitor is standing all while continuing with the empty, but so reassuring words.

The traitor’s eyes watch over them both hungrily as Dameron guides Kylo past him and onto the small cot-bed that rests against the wall of the room. Watches as Dameron presses kisses to Ren’s body as he lays him out, putting a spare pillow under his hips as he kisses and licks at the inside of his thighs, face going moist from the slick of Kylo’s body that seems to have coated Ren’s legs down to his knees.

Soon though the kisses and licks move further up and Ren can’t help but gasp when a tongue presses against his slick, swollen and oversensitive entrance. He shuts his eyes and feels his body bend in response to it, _feel_ the satisfied hum of Dameron at his reaction before he can hear it.

“What does he taste like?” the traitor asks and Ren opens his eyes to see him walk over.

Dameron answers by bringing two fingers up to brush against Ren’s oversensitive entrance, gathering slick on them before holding them up to the traitor who takes the cue quickly and licks them, first tentatively and then quickly. The traitor moans at the taste and Kylo watches as he brings the entirety of other alpha’s fingers into his mouth to get every remnant of Ren’s slick off them. “Sweet.”

“I know.”

Dameron is quick to return his attention fully on burying tongue and fingers deep into Kylo. The traitor apparently happy to just settle himself next to the bed and watch.

Soon enough there are three fingers inside him, pressing against the walls of his entrance to prepare him. To stretch him wider than the heat already has. And it feels good. Feels good and leaves him craving so much more. He can’t fight back the needy whine that breaks his lips and Dameron presses kisses to thighs and hips. “Shh, I know. I’ll give you what your body wants in a little. Just want to make sure I won’t hurt you.”

He hates it. Hates how his body has betrayed him. His hormones making him betray himself.

Dameron removes his fingers and shifts so Ren’s legs are wrapped around his hips. Kylo realises that he is no longer wearing any clothes. Realises that at some point between entering the room and now Dameron has managed to lose all his clothing and in his heat-addled state Ren didn’t even notice. 

Dameron moves so his face is by Kylo’s and Ren can feel his penis move just subtly with it. Feel it slide against his wet legs and ass.

Ren hates the fears that well up again. The stupid illogical fears that have him trembling. The fear that despite everything it is going to hurt, that despite Dameron’s previous care he will turn aggressive once inside and obtain his pleasure uncaring to Kylo’s pain. The fear that he will be bonded to the resistance pilot for life. The fear he will end up pregnant and weakened and dependant on _his alpha_ for everything. The fear that everything he has worked for in his life will come crumbling down in a matter of minutes (hours, _days)_.

He knows most of the fears are invalid. Knows he is being ridiculous in even thinking them but they are there and he is using up all his concentration in not completely becoming slave to his body’s instincts that he cannot fight them off as well.

“You’re okay,” Dameron tells him, “Just relax and remember to breath.”

Forgetting to breath was never something Ren put much though into. Snoke had encouraged him to learn how to endure pain and before that Luke had drilled into him even breathing because of its important in meditation. It is only that Dameron points it out that he notices how sporadic it has become, how shaky.

He shuts his eyes and quickly tries to establish an even breath. Dameron waits, pressing kisses to shoulder and neck and rubs his hands up and down along Ren’s abdomen and chest but he waits. And when Kylo opens his eyes, sure that his breath is back to normal Dameron smiles.

“There you go. Ready now?”

It’s not like Ben has much of a choice. He has to concede eventually or else his body will continue to force him to suffer from the desperate need of heat until it kills him. And if he puts it off he will know it is because of his weakness.

So he steals himself. Ensures his breathing stays steady and then manages to get a jab out with his consent. “I am. What about you Dameron? Scared of what will happen once you’re tied to me?”

Dameron just smiles and leans down to kiss him while he shifts just slightly to thrust in.

It probably says something about just how wet and needy Ren’s body is that Dameron’s penis slides in almost effortlessly.

“You okay?” Dameron asks and it is easy for Kylo to glare at him now because _really_? There is nothing there for him to be not ‘okay’ about, not with the hormones in his body flooding him with the pleasure-laced _relief_ now that it is finally getting what it wants.

He locks one of his legs around Dameron’s hips and shifts his hips up to try and grind against him. “Move.” Really, it’s pointless to deny it now. Pointless to pretend and fight against it and he’d rather it just be over with then dragged out. He’d rather just grit his teeth and suffer through the pain of a rough mating so long as it was a fast one. As much as the thought of a brutal mating also terrifies him it’d be more in line with his training, more in line with his philosophy of his life. Of course he doesn’t have to actually worry about that being an option, not with Dameron being the one he is mating with.

Dameron does start to move. Moves in slow but steady thrusts that have Ren’s body somehow producing even more slick as if to encourage him.

His hands rub all along Ren’s chest, abdomen and thighs in comforting movements. He presses soft kisses to Ren’s face and shoulders. And the two things combined just make Kylo’s conflict over it all so much worse. Makes the fear and pleasure battle that much more intense until pleasure wins out. He knows this isn’t all there is to it though. The knot is still yet to come and he is sure every omega has heard a horror story about that as well. Plus there is the traitor in the room with them, there is always the risk that his hormones could turn him territorial and for him to pull Dameron off and claim the omega himself in a more brutal way (but when Kylo manages a glance at him the traitor doesn’t seem like he’s about to try and fight Dameron for the omega anytime soon, seems more than happy to just watch the two of them together).

Dameron shifts the angle of his thrusts and manages to hit something that makes Ren’s vision go white if only for a second and a pleasure-filled gasp to break his lips. Apparently that is all Dameron needs as indication to do it again.

After that Kylo is gone. Buried so far under the haze of the pleasure-want-need-harder-faster-more-PLEASE-MORE of his heat and the alpha and the satisfaction of it all that he can no longer keep track of what parts of his brain are him and what parts are his heat.

He cannot even keep track of the words and moans that come out of his mouth. Knows there are begging pleas that he will hate himself for once his mind is his again. Knows he has become the whorish omega he wanted to never be. Still, for now he cannot care. Not when his blurred out mind can only feel pleasure from Dameron’s actions.

Of course it has to all come crashing down. There is nothing in universe, Kylo Ren had discovered long ago, that gives you pleasure that will not one day prove to be a lie.

Ren reaches his organism with a long groan. Dameron muttering useless encouragements against his skin as he rides it out. That is not when things fall apart.

No, it is the few seconds later when Dameron follows him into bliss and his alpha penis swells. At first it is only a mild stretch, nothing compared to how open Ren is from his heat and Dameron’s preparation. However it keeps growing, past the point of mild discomfort and into the realm that raises panic in Kylo’s mind that it will never stop until he is torn in two.

Dameron can apparently read the panic on him because he is quick to try and reassure him. To press  kisses against his skin. To mutter, “relax, breath, just relax, it’s nearly done,” again and again, until Ren is sure the words have lost all meaning.

As much as he hates to admit it the words do help, although not as much as the swelling actually stopping just shy of the point of actual pain. It is still not the most comfortable thing – pressed wide against the walls of his entrance, keeping them tied and Dameron’s seed deep inside. There is definitive discomfort at it, only made worse but the fact there is still the rest of their bodies, uncomfortably tangled together as they come down from the orgasmic-high of the mating.

The heat is still there, burning less bright than earlier but still present under Ren’s skin, is still pumping through his veins. His connection to the force is still hazy and broken. He has a feeling he won’t get it back until the heat has dimmed away to nothingness and his body is returned to him.

He has no choice but to wait. Wait for Dameron’s knot to soften for them to separate. Wait for the inevitable return of the intense all consuming need of his heat to burn up again. Wait for the cycle to repeat again and again until it is finally broken and his body returns to its normal state.

And really, he’s lucky. Most omegas would kill to have two virile, _kind_ alphas with them. Between the two of them they should be able to keep his body satisfied to a rate that its demands do not become agony again.

Kylo Ren is not most omegas.

Mostly Kylo Ren just wants the week over.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was sure I posted this part over here already. Apparently not. Sorry about that. 
> 
> Having to create new excuses for them to continue fucking was surprisingly harder then I thought. There will be one more main part of this and then a Bonus 'what if' and POSSIBLY an additional bonus mpreg epilogue style thing. 
> 
> Oh, and according to this fics logic Kylo Ren watches a lot of trashy romance holos.

It takes a while for the knot to go down. Not an insanely long time. Certainly not the hours that preteens and trashy romance novels go on about. The two of them are not tied for any period of time that even approaches an hour. It’s much more like ten minutes (and even then probably a little shy of it).

Still, those ten minutes are awkward and uncomfortable. Ren’s heat content enough that there is nothing more he can do (nothing more it can force him to do) to be bred and backs off from the incessant burning need it keeps pumping through his body. Kylo’s mind is as clear as it will likely be until the heat has finally broken and gone from for good. His mind is clear and his body feels more like his body again. That is, of course, if he ignores Dameron’s penis buried and _tied_ inside him. Ignores Dameron’s body on top of him, supporting his weight on his arms as if he would crush Ren should he rest on him (as if Ren isn’t clearly the larger and stronger of the two of them).

The knot does go down and Dameron pulls out and for a brief second Ren swears he can feel his connection with the Force: bright and unhindered. He tries to reach for it, to see if he can use it to break the heat. However the moment he reaches for it the haze returns and it is back to being something on the edge of his consciousness. Something he knows to be there but cannot hope to get control of.

Dameron is still there as well. He has pulled out but not moved away. Is still hovering over Ren with a concerned look on his face.

Ren wants to kill him for it.

He wants to push him off and cower himself into the back corner of the bed. To try and chase that glimmer of connection to the Force while denying it all. Denying what has already happened as well as the knowledge that this relief is only temporary. That the desperate wanting, burning, _need_ will rise up again and he will be a slave to his body and hormones once more.

“You’re okay,” Dameron says, reaching out to gently stroke Ren’s cheek. His touch seems to rekindle the passive burn in Kylo’s body. To break the reprieve and once more set it upon its path of increasing intensity that will end with him in agonising suffering lest he give his body what it demands again.

He doesn’t want to end up back there again. Wants to stay in this moment where the blur and want are merely haze in the back of his mind. There but ignorable. Something that with meditation he should be able to break through.

“You can leave now,” Ren says because he’d rather be alone with the agony then deal with the emotions that the comfort and care of the alphas kindles in him. He has hopefully given his body enough of what it demands that it will not kill him for denying it for so long. Hopes that the rest of the heat will be agony but not lethal. He is strong enough to deal with agony (should have been strong enough to choose death over submission to his enemies). “Both of you.”

“You don’t mean it,” Dameron says and Ren’s body seems to warm up in agreement. The haze increasing its strength over his mind and his blood pumping under his skin starting to burn up again. The leak of slick from him starts up again, having momentarily stopped at some point after the knot had tied Dameron to him.

“Don’t you dare claim to know what I mean.” The heat has not yet burned out his anger but he knows it will soon. Knows he only has precious few moments of himself left before it is dulled by the heat and the desperate need to be mated.

“It’s only fair. You dragged information I didn’t want to give you out of my mind, I can do the same with your body.” There is a brief, dangerous darkness to Dameron’s eyes and maybe that would be preferable. Maybe staying with the First Order and being found by Hux actually what he should have wanted. A degrading, brutal mating, that proved that his heats and status as an omega are weaknesses. Proves them something that must be purged to live up to his grandfather’s legacy. Maybe that is what he actually wants rather than the too kind hands of Dameron or the curious ones of the traitor.

The darkness in Dameron’s eyes fades and with it a panic in Ren’s gut that he did not even realise had risen until it was no longer there. Apparently the obnoxious, reassuring touch is better than the alternative. Apparently the weakness he has spent so long trying to stifle is still there and has found strength in his altered state of mind.

Dameron presses a kiss to Ren’s forehead and moves so he is no longer leaning over him. He leaves the bed, and goes over to where his pants lay on the floor, easily putting them on.

Kylo takes the chance to sit up. Bunches himself on top of the sheets to try and hide some of the evidence of his heat and sex. He refuses to grab the blanket and try to cover himself with it. Refuses to be _that_ omega. The ones in all the trashy romance holos who blush and cover themselves after mating with an alpha. The ones that go “don’t look at me” and hide until their alpha comes over and assures them that it’s natural and beautiful and nothing to be ashamed of and that they look very attractive, all wet and filled with their alpha’s seed. Kylo Ren may (and does) hate his body for the degrading _want_ it is forcing him to feel but it, at its core, is still his body and has served him well in most matters until now. He’d rather his body return to being what he is used to. Rather the slick that is coating his thighs and leaking from him dry up. Rather be able to blindly hate the two alphas in the room instead of having to constantly fight the urge to roll over and _beg_ them both to fill him up with the dicks, and knots, and seed.

The traitor has gotten up as well. He has followed Dameron and pulled him into one of the corner of the room (the same one Ren cowed himself into and he honestly hates that corner). Ren watches them talk in hushed voices and wishes he still had his connection to the force. Wishes he could read what they were saying instead of having to listen to the beat of his blood pumping through his body. Listen to the squish of cum and slick leaking out of him at every movement of his body.

It seems to be building faster this time. Giving Ren less warning of what will come and just moving back to demanding more. It’s already reached the point of making him want to bury his fingers into himself to try and quell it. Reached the point where he has to fight against the urge to whimper and moan. Fight against his body’s want to do something, _anything,_ to attract the alphas back to him from where they are in the corner of the room. To make them remember that he is there and ready for them. To make them fuck and knot him. To fill him up with the potential of allowing a child, _their child_ , to grow deep inside him.

Ren shuts his eyes and tries to keep his breath steady. Focuses the entirely of his consciousness on not just leaning forward and burying his fingers into himself and moaning like a wonton slut.

He succeeds mostly. His breath may not be as even as he wants it, coming out in pants instead of even drags, but he hasn’t moved. Hasn’t moved either to present himself to better get the alphas’ attentions nor to attempt to obtain relief at his own fingers.

He doesn’t care that he probably looks strange – a statute of an omega with slick pouring out of him and uneven rise and fall of chest being the only signs of life. He doesn’t care what he looks like. Doesn’t care what the alphas or resistance or even his family think of him (maybe if he keeps telling himself that it’ll become true).

The bed shifts indicating that one of the two alphas has climbed on it. Ren doesn’t open his eyes to find out who, doesn’t care until a hand reaches out to gently cup his jaw and he has to bite back a moan at it. Bite back his bodies want to whimper or make some other sign of yes, please, more.

It’s Dameron’s hand on his jaw but the traitor on the bed with him.

The traitor looks uncomfortable with the situation. Ren hopes he regrets coming into the room in the first place. Hopes he hates what his body is doing in response to Ren’s heat as much as Kylo hates the heat itself. Not that it would be possible. An alpha’s mind and body is not stolen from them anywhere near as much as an omegas. Even now the traitor is still mostly himself. Ren however feels like a passenger in a body that will complete its own objectives regardless of his wishes.

Dameron’s hand gently twists Ren’s head so Kylo’s attention is on him instead of the traitor.

“Do you want us to get you through?”

The obvious, clear, rational answer is no. The answer Kylo should give is no. He should say no and make them leave and just suffer through the rest of the heat by himself. He should take it as a chance to strengthen himself. To learn how to master his body and mind even when both have rebelled and are pushing him with every bit of their power to take a certain course of action. He should say no and meditate and try to chase down the brief reconnection with the Force he felt so to try and defeat the heats power with that.

He doesn’t say no. He is weak and cannot stand the burning under his skin and the craving want. Cannot stand the need that feels as if it originates from every part of his being.

His nod earns him a chaste kiss from Dameron and the traitor moving from sitting on the bed just out of reach to being completely in his space.

It is easier to slip under the heat this time. Easier to accept that in this moment Kylo Ren is an omega and not the Leader of the Knights of Ren. The sickening feeling deep in the back of his mind is still there but he knows what to expect now so his fears are only limited to what will happen when the heat finally breaks for good and not what will happen within it.

The traitor moves faster than Dameron does. Spends less time warning Ren about what he is doing next and more just doing it. He is still generous with his kisses and praise although sounds just as confused as to the pleasure and need of it all as Kylo feels.

He doesn’t seem to mind that another alpha has already claimed Ren. Greedily licking (and nipping, which Dameron didn’t do but Kylo cannot really find complaint about it in his heat-addled state) at Ren’s entrance as if he is trying to drink up every bit of cum and slick that is oozing out of him. His fingers push in deep and Kylo cannot help but arch at it. Cannot help but arch and moan as his body’s need for more grows.

“You look good like this,” Dameron says. The traitor hums in agreement, face no longer buried between Kylo’s legs as his fingers explore much deeper than his tongue was capable of.

“Shut up,” Ren manages to growl out but even he can hear how little heat it has despite being muffled in his ears from the sound of his own blood pumping. He doesn’t want to hear it because he _doesn’t_ look good like this. He could never look good giving into his body’s base impulses like some non-sentient beast. He has crafted his image with precision and years of training. Crafted an image of power and greatness despite his body’s biological proclivities. He will not give it up just because he has lost the fight with his hormones and allowed their demands be fulfilled.

He is still Kylo Ren. Still one of the few beings in the galaxy trusted enough by the Supreme Leader to receive his teachings. He will still bring order back to the galaxy. Will find a way to escape and return to his allies once the week and his heat burns out.

He is still all of those things despite the fact his body has revolted and forced submission out of him. He is still Kylo Ren even now, when he whines as the traitor removes his fingers and shifts them so he can line himself up.

Kylo shuts his eyes and steadies his breath for the actual penetration. A second passes then another one and after a third of having the head of the traitor’s penis lined up without actually breaching he opens his eyes to see the traitor’s own watching him carefully.

One of the traitor’s hands come up to cup his jaw and stroke his cheek. Ren watches as _he_ shuts his eyes to steady his breath. Watches a tongue dart out to moisten dry lips. “You… ah… you’re okay with this?”

“Yes.” Kylo reaches up and removes the hand from his face. “Get on with it. Unless you can’t do it. In which case get off and let Dameron get on.”

The traitor shakes his head and licks his lips, and there is defiantly lust darkening his eyes. “No. No. I can do it.”

“Then hurry up.” Ren half regrets the taunts when the traitor nods again, shifts both their hips just slightly, and pushes in with one strong thrust. It is hard to completely regret something when his whole body sings with pleasure at getting what it wants.

It takes a few thrusts for the traitor to find a rhythm. To find what angle to thrust at, where he wants his hands, exactly how much power he wants to put into each thrust. He does find it though and soon the last remnants of Kylo Ren are once against dragged under and consumed by his heat and things as far as his awareness is concerned go pleasurably blurry once again.

This time the knot is less of a surprise. He knows that it will be uncomfortable nearly to the point of pain. He knows it will stop before actually crossing over into pain. He knows awareness and thought will be cruelly given back to them both and they will be stuck in an awkward limbo of not being able to separate from each other but no longer affected by the craving need to be tied together.

When the knot starts to swell Ren shuts his eyes and tries to keep his breathing even despite the flash of panic that maybe this time it won’t stop until he is split in two.

It does. Just like with Dameron it stops before the precipice into pain. Stops and sends the hormones that allowed them both to do this in the first place out of their blood and minds. Leaves them both clear headed but impossibly tied to each other. Unable to escape the awkwardness that quickly fills the air in replacement of pheromones.

The difference in the alphas’ levels of experience shows in this moment more than it did anywhere else. Dameron had some idea as to how to deal with this. Had some idea of where to rest his weight and balance himself in order to minimise the discomfort for them both. The traitor does not. Instead he keeps shifting as he tries to find a comfortable position. Each movement making the knot inside Ren shift and press, each time threatening to make the feeling of it go over the edge from discomfort to pain.

After a minute of bearing it Kylo has had enough. He locks his thighs around the traitor’s hips and tells him in no uncertain terms to _stop moving_.

And the traitor does. He goes deathly still as if afraid that Ren would use the fact that they are tied together to kill him while he has no ability to escape (Ren does not want to think about what would happen if the traitor did try to escape while they were still tired together). Ren isn’t going to kill him. No matter how tempted he is. He still has a week to go and really, any bad outcome will have already come to pass, he might as well use them to keep the burning suffering at bay.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Final part. Sorry this is late with the cross posting, had people sending me prompts so those got edited first (if you want to send me one go to my tumblr: GoddessofRoyalty) Sort of skimming over the rest of the heat because there are only so many ways I can describe fucking without going out of my mind (and boring all of you), and I’d like to leave some porn inspiration for other fics. This fill is a lot longer then I originally thought it would be. Still this has been a wonderful prompt to write (problematic trapfalls aside) and I hope you all enjoyed reading my fill! (Oh and now there’s an added bonus ‘alternative way this could have gone’ that will go up next – and then maybe an additional bonus mpreg epilogue IDK, that one will depend on if I get time between the Big Bangs and if people want it)

The rest of his heat is spent out like that. The painful suffocating drag of the need cutting him off from his own mind and forcing him to degrade himself in submission to get relief. Divided by moments of clarity, where he feels like Kylo Ren and not just some omega but is also all too aware that he will be dragged under again. A whole week of not being able to access the Force in the way he should, of being denied one of his birthrights because of another part of his inheritance.

He hates how much he relies on the alphas to obtain the fleeting moments of clarity. Feels like a drug addict - one that craves clear thought. He supposes he probably is. The suppressants are a drug and this is just his body in withdrawal. Like so many addicts before him he has just replaced the drug with something that gives him the same feeling. Gives him the same result (even if it isn’t as satisfying and doesn’t last as long).

The withdrawal passes though and his body is his body again and his mind is his mind. And he can feel the Force bubbling up under his skin, ready to answer to his demands.

Clarity comes with realisations and sickness. The desperate all-consuming need that filled his gut for the heat has retreated to just being a sickening feeling.

He can now see his actions with a clear head. The ones where, at the time, he gave into his heat-mind’s suggestions. The ones where he spread his legs and moaned and begged for more. The ones that had been justified as just biology or where his mind was so far gone that he can’t even remember them past the pleasure-haze that surrounded them. Now he can see them as they really were. Can see how they, how he, must have looked to the alphas. Kylo Ren, the Leader of the Knights of Ren, entrusted with the teachings of the Supreme Leader, their enemy, moaning and submitting to them like a cheap whore. One of the greatest threats to the Resistance spewing words that wouldn’t even make it into a cheap porn-holo because of how cliché and ridiculous they sound.

There is no saving his image in their mind. No reclaiming dominance over them. Even if he does manage to escape they will always know what he looked like, desperate from need to be fucked, to be filled with their knots and seed. The whole resistance probably does, probably watched it happen on security monitors (no, his parents wouldn’t allow _that_ ). He will never be able to face them again without remembering.

They are both still there. Passed out in the room where total exhaustion once again forced them to rest. Their faces are tight though, it is not peaceful rest, not with the pheromones that are still filling the air (his heat may have broken now but they had been in the room for a whole week filling the air with their shared hormones). He can see the evidence of his excitement left on their bodies. Can see the teeth and nail marks. The hickeys on their necks and long red lines on their shoulders and down their backs. He can see the evidence of his desperate craving submission on them and it just makes the sickness that rises in his stomach so much worse.

He barely makes it to the bathroom before his stomach officially revolts and spills its contents (mostly bile that burns its way up through his throat) into the toilet. He collapses next to it, unable to find the strength in his legs to keep holding him up. The heat has taken its toll on him, has drained his body of energy and turned his muscles useless. 

They alphas won’t want him now. Their relationships will return to what they were before the week of hormone induced attraction. That is a good thing, he tells himself. It is good that they will think of him as merely a pleasurable fuck. Good that they do not demand any obligation from him that he cannot fulfil. He has to return to the First Order and they will stay with the resistance. They will be enemies again and they will brag to everyone how they got to fuck the great Kylo Ren.

He cannot seem to convince his stomach to stop trying to bring something up. There is nothing there for it to force up but the acidic bile that lines it. Nothing and yet it keeps trying as if to spite his attempts to use his newly regained control over his body.

He can feel their seed leaking out of him. He hopes he has broken his body enough that it will not take.

He wants to clean his mouth out. Needs to clean his mouth out. Needs to make some part of his body not feel _dirty_ , not feel used. He cannot get himself up and off the ground to make it to the sink. Cannot make his muscles work well enough to pull him up. Cannot seem to stop retching for long enough to actually move at all.

He can feel stirrings in the Force that tell him the two alphas have woken and he waits for the sound of the door opening and closing. Waits to be left alone to recreate himself back into Kylo Ren the Leader of the Knights of Ren. To be left alone until the Resistance has some use for him (and hopefully he will be able to clean himself up before then).

The sound doesn’t come. Instead they come into the bathroom.

They have come to mock him. There is no other reason for them to come into this room with him. They have come to memorise the sight of him, covered in their cum and so exhausted the he cannot even stand. Memorise it in order to tell the rest of the resistance exactly how pathetic Kylo Ren really is. He hopes they are at least quick. That they will merely stand there and take in the sight of his weakness, maybe get a shared laugh or two, before leaving the room and him to his solitude.

He cannot handle it if they taunt him. He does not have the physical strength to attack them nor the mental to just endure. His body and mind have been exhausted and he is sure if he has to put up with taunts for more than minute he will cry. Which he cannot allow himself to do, but cannot seem to gather the strength to do anything to stop them should they try.

He can hear the traitor gasp when they enter the room and that is almost worse than taunts.

“Come on,” Dameron says and Kylo hopes that means they are leaving. That the sight of him is so displeasing that they do not want to witness it anymore.

They do not leave.

He flinches at the hand that reaches out to touch him and it does back off if only for a moment.

“Ben, it’s just me,” Dameron says and there is a gentle touch on his shoulder before he feels his hair being pulled back and away from him face.

He shudders when a cold hand-towel is placed against his shoulders but it does make him feel more comfortable.

It takes a few minutes but the sickness in his stomach does go away and Ren stops retching up acidic bile. The alphas don’t leave the entire time. No, they gently rub his back and make sure that the towel on his shoulder stays cool (Dameron mostly responsible for the back rubs, the traitor for the towels). Their presence is a comfort which just makes it all worse. Reminds him of how pathetic he must look. He cannot handle their pity nor the weakness within him that causes it. He cannot stop them though. Cannot control what they think nor how he looks in that moment. He cannot hide his body: tired, sticky and sore.

“You feeling better now?” the traitor asks after five minutes of Ren not actively trying to bring up his stomach contents. “I mean, you’re not going to vomit again are you? I mean you can if you want but I feel like I really need a shower and if I feel like I need a shower I image you _really_ must want one.”

Kylo does. He really does but he also isn’t so sure that he will be able to even stand. Getting to the shower and actually washing himself in any sort of satisfactory way seems to be an impossible task.

“We’ll help you,” Dameron says when Ren glares at the both of them, “but only if you want us to. If you want us to just leave we’ll do that as well.”

He does want them to just leave. Leave him to clean himself up and try and rebuild Kylo Ren from the crumbling remains. Wants to see what is left and try and start the process of reclaiming his power. He also knows that if they do leave he will probably be stuck where he is until he can regain the strength to at least make it to the shower. Even then he’d likely just sit under the spray hoping that it alone would clean him. Hoping that the week would just magically fall off and he will be Kylo Ren once more.

It wouldn’t be the most shameful thing they have seen him do. Not after everything he had done in his heat-fuelled desperation. What was one more story for them to gossip about if it meant him actually clean?

He hates how careful they are with him. Hates how their hands gently hold him, consciously avoiding the bruises on him. He is not sure if he’d prefer them to be clinical or cruel but knows he wants anything but how they are. They are his enemies and he is theirs. He should not be finding comfort in their touch no matter the surrounding circumstances.

The water that runs over his skin is blissfully warm. It satisfies all the cravings he had, after he woke from the heat, of being capable of washing the filth from his body. He forgets that the two alphas are with him for a handful of moments as he enjoys the feeling of knowing that he can wash, at least the evidence of, the previous week from his body.

It takes a fair amount of effort and energy for him to be able to stand and even then he has to support most of his weight by leaning against the wall of the shower. He has no ability to wash himself even if he did give up and rest on the floor. He has little choice but to rely on the alphas to wash the filth and sex from him. Dameron mostly takes charge of this task, the traitor apparently slightly apprehensive to touch past what is absolutely necessary. Ren cares little about that, cares only about the fact that Dameron’s hands are thankfully clinical in his actions of bathing him.

He feels better after his body is clean. Feels more like Kylo Ren and less like an omega whore now that there is no longer seed actively leaking out of him onto thighs crusted with dry slick. It doesn’t change the fact that he still feels so weak and powerless. Something that he was supposed to never feel again after he took up the mantle of Kylo Ren, but he feels better.

He isn’t happy about what happened. Hates the desperation and pathetic weak behaviour it dragged out of him. Hates the fact he will likely never be able to fully return to pretending that Kylo Ren is not an omega. He hates everything about the past week and events that lead up to it.

He cannot hate the alphas. He wants to, he really does. Wants to hate and make them pay for what his body did in response to them. Wants to blame it all on them. Kylo Ren is still Kylo Ren even though they forced the submission out of him. He knows it was his body that condemned them all. His body’s betrayal that condemned them all. In the circumstances they were nicer then he could have ever expected, nicer then he probably deserved (even if he only counted what he did to them personally). That doesn’t make it right but even he, in his deepest moments of denial, cannot place the blame on them completely.


	6. BONUS ALTERNATIVE VERSION

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here’s the bonus ‘if Kylo Ren had a full blown panic attack’ alterative thing the OP asked for. 
> 
> So I’ve never experienced a panic attack associated with another touching me (all of mine being more based on social anxiety and “oh god too many people GET ME OUT”) so if I messed up anything in this I’m sorry. Also the thing they used to break his heat is bad for him (current idea: it stops him from being able to use suppressants ever again) & that’s why they didn’t use it in the main. It’s literally a last resort. 
> 
> The bonus epilogue is still not written yet (if you follow my tumblr you probably know why – it’s the same reason this took so long to get its final edit), but I haven’t abandoned it just... have other things to write that take priority.

Dameron’s hands are on him. His hands and lips are mapping out paths on Ren’s skin. Exploring the new territory and claiming it as his own with every press of finger and touch of lip.

And Kylo cannot do this. He just cannot. He doesn’t care that not doing so will literally kill him. Does not care if it makes him weak or a coward. Doesn’t care if it means that he has failed the Supreme Leader’s teaching and that he will never obtain his true strength. He does not care because he cannot do this.

He does care. Of course he does. He cares so much and that is making this all so worse. He doesn’t want to die. He doesn’t want to be weak or a coward. He doesn’t want any of that but he also doesn’t want _this_. Also cannot stand the touches on his body. The feeling of Poe discovering the mountains of his hips bones or the ponds that is the places on his thighs where his river of slick has decided to gather.

He wants to push him off. Wants to scream at him to get off. Wants to fight and run and get away from this all and go back to when he was Kylo Ren, so hopped up on suppressants that many believed him an alpha.

He can’t though. Cannot seem to get his vocal chords within command. Cannot seem to get his body to respond to the demands that it move. He is trapped within the frozen muscles under his skin and his lungs burn from his failure to even drag oxygen in to fuel the fires that keep him alive.

He is frozen and Dameron’s touch feels like fire and there is nothing he can do to stop him. Not when his arms will not raise at his request. Not when the pheromones are suffocating them all and he is going to die before this is through. He just knows it. His body will burn either from Dameron’s touch or its own flames grown all consuming. And he can feel those flames growing. Feel them now his breathing is back. Too fast to actually allow oxygen into his lungs but fast enough to keep pouring more onto the fires of his heat and the pyre that will be his end.

“Ben?”

The flames must have consumed his hearing and sight because he cannot be sure if it is Dameron’s voice behind those words. Cannot be sure if it is even him still touching him or if he has been traded for the traitor. Or maybe traded for someone else. Why not? Get all the resistance members in and let them fuck the villainous Kylo Ren while he’s wet and ready for them. Make him beg for them all.

His skin feels ice cold though. The fire burning him only from within. He cannot feel the burning touch of another on his skin so maybe there is none. Or maybe the internal flames have reached such strength that even if someone was touching him it would not compare.

“Ben you need to breathe.”

Breathing only seems to fuel his heat. Only makes it burn stronger. Makes his suffering worse. Maybe if he stops breathing it will be over sooner. If he stops breathing the flames will not get the oxygen they require and will extinguish. He doesn’t care if they take him with them as long as this is over.

“Finn, go get the General. Come on Ben, at least look at me.”

How can he look at him if he cannot see? His world is plunged into darkness and the deafening beat of his heart as it pumps the molten heat through his body.

“Come on. Open your eyes. That’s all I’m asking.”

He had not shut them but his eyes are shut. He realises it when he opens them and can see Dameron’s concerned face. Dameron kneeling in front of the ball he has apparently also curled himself into without noticing. At the sight of the alpha his heat demands submission. Demands he try and look appealing and get back on the track he deviated from in his distress. He’s a coward, a weak foolish coward. He swears these words are in the Supreme Leader’s voice. This is just another failure on a very long list. The final piece of a puzzle of screw ups that reveal the image of his true nature. If he was stronger he could control his body. If he was stronger he could quash the heat and continue being Kylo Ren instead of a fertile omega in the hands of the resistance. If he was stronger he could grit his teeth and bear the mating no matter how unpleasant it was. Instead he is weak and cannot even endure when his enemies are spoiling him with kindness.

“No. Don’t do that. You gotta’ stop thinking. Just focus on your breathing.”

That should be an easy task for him. More than an easy task. If he really learned the lessons given to him by the Supreme Leader he would be able to maintain his breathing no matter what happened to him. If he had learned the lessons given to him he would not be this weak.

“General I don’t know what happened but he started panicking and I’m trying to calm him but-“

The General. His mother. His mother knows. She knows how weak her son is. Knows she gave birth to a pathetic omega who can’t even handle his heats yet believes he is deserving of claiming the galaxy. It is not a monster that she raised but a scared pathetic weak child.

“Ben they’re going to get something to break your heat but you still gotta’ breath for me. If you could do it while wearing that stupid mask you can do it now. Come on.”

His mask. He is undeserving of it. Undeserving of the mantle of Kylo Ren. He cannot go back to his old name. He is so weak he does not even deserve that one. He may hate that generation of his family but they did succeed at toppling an Empire. He cannot withstand a single heat without it consuming him and burning him from the inside out. He is undeserving of his family’s legacy. He is undeserving of his grandfather’s legacy.

“Poe how is he doing?”

“Honestly? About the same. I can’t get him out of his head and focusing on anything let alone his breathing.”

“That’s okay. That you for trying.”

“It’s nothing.”

“Let me have a go.”

He can see his mother. See her right _there_ where she can see him and his weakness and shame. He can see the syringe in her hand. The one she is turning around and around her fingers. He wonders if that is what will break his heat. He wonders what new torture will replace it. He wonders how else he will fail the Supreme Leader.

“Ben this will break your heat but I need you to at least start breathing for me.”

Even with the incentive on the table he cannot regain control of his body. He is so weak he cannot even command his body when the chance of being relieved of the burning agony is right in front of him.

“Ben.”

His mother’s voice is so gentle as her hand reaches out to cup his face. Thumb coming to wipe away the tears and sweat that stain his cheeks. He must look a mess. She must be pitying him and his weakness.

“Just breathe for me.”

Her hand moves to grab his and place it on her chest. He can feel her chest move with each breath and slowly, gradually he is able to mimic it with his own.

“Good. There you go. Now this will probably hurt.”

The syringe is plunged into his thigh and the contents pushed into his body. It is an agony of a new kind. Frigid ice forcing its way through the molten lava of his blood. It is colder than anything he has ever endured before and the same heartbeat that pumped the fire through him is forcing it to move through his body. Is moving the agony from one spot to everywhere.

His heat is over though. He can feel it halting at an instantaneous stop. It is wrong. His body knows that. This is not the way it is meant to be. And there is no easy solution. No easy way to right itself so he suffers for it. Suffers as it tries to bring itself back to normal within seconds.

His heartbeat is deafening again and he wants to vomit up the last months’ worth of food as well as the bile and lining of his stomach. And the world is spinning and his mother is saying something but he cannot hear it. Cannot focus on anything but the agony.

Eventually the pain becomes too much and everything goes black.


End file.
